The City that Always Sleeps

I cried out in pain as I stumbled on the bed. My entire back had turned a crisp red, sunburnt after four hours spent in the water off Alona Beach. After yesterday's hectic sightseeing, Nick and I decided to chill out today and spent most of the day lounging around Alona Beach, the most popular stretch of sand on Panglao Island and a mere five minute walk from our digs. Alona beach boasted fine white sand, but it wasn't as long nor wide as White Beach in Boracay, as I had hoped. The water was crystal clear and inviting, and we both waded in without giving any thought to SPF protection, stupidly as it turned out.

After spending the afternoon trying to recover, Landel came to pick us up for a night on the town. Quite a laughable statement in itself given Tagbilaran City's reputation for being staid. Things aren't exactly rocking here. The lady at reception mentioned some bands playing by the downtown waterfront which seemed promising. We got there a bit early though and the sound equipment guys were just setting up, so we dropped by Bohol Tropics resort for dinner. This resort is the poshest in downtown, and its amenities include two huge swimming pools, and a three-story restaurant. As we appoached the latter, an enthusiastic karaoke session appeared to be taking place, the singing overpowering any other sound in the immediate vicinity. We went up to the top most floor (a debutante's ball and college reunion were being held at the first two floors) where the singing came from and discovered that the singers were in fact paid entertainers, and not overly eager karaoke amateurs.

With numerous huge groups occupying the other tables, our waiter indicated that the food would take a while to arrive, thus there was nothing else to do but drink more San Miguel Lite beer while concentrating on the entertainment. The duo's repertoire consisted mostly of sappy ballads (think Michael Bolton), golden oldies ("My Way"), mixed in with the occasional '80s hit. In fact, their rendition of the Police's "Every Breath You Take" wasn't too bad at all. As is customary, they were open to taking requests. Minutes later, they announced to all that an audience member had requested "Every Breath You Take", and that they were singing it again, despite having just done so twenty minutes earlier. Collectively our jaws dropped and we were like, "What the hell?!". Nick decided to join the requests game, and wrote down "Kiss" by Tom Jones (remade by Prince aka The Artist formerly known as Prince) on a napkin, ignoring the fact that this song was well outside their genre. True enough, they never got around to it.

Not to be denied, Nick took another napkin and polled me and Landel for suggestions. Always the logical thinker I said, "Given the type of songs they've performed so far, I suggest something by Air Supply. You know, like 'Lost in Love', for example". He replied, "Don't they have a song called 'All Out of Love' or something like that?". Landel assented, so he wrote that down, while I restrained myself from commenting about the singer's vocal range being several octaves lower than Russell Hitchcock's. Or maybe I just found the song overly sentimental and cheesy (aren't all Air Supply songs like that though?). I had a eureka moment and excitedly said, "Ok, this one I bet they'll do - 'More Than Words'! (by the rock band Extreme)". Both Nick and Landel nodded in agreement so that made the list as well. To seal the deal, he stuck a Php100 (US$2.50) bill to the napkin and gave it to a passing waiter who, perhaps unaccustomed to finding money stuck between napkins, promptly dropped the bank note on the floor. Roaring with laughter, we called him back, and after the note had been passed to the entertainers, without their usual intro ("This song is dedicated to everyone here tonight"), the opening strains of "All Out of Love" were heard (pause to vomit). And once they finished that, a quick cut-over to "More than Words".

"Wow, this is really cool. And, financial incentives DO matter", I chuckled to myself. Just then, as the song was winding down and the lead singer tried valiantly to hit the high notes of the chorus, suddenly the lights went out and darkness engulfed the restaurant. Stunned silence all around, except for our table - three guys doubled over laughing uncontrollably. A sure sign it's time to call it a night.

P.S. Isn't the plural of "seafood" also "seafood"???