Roundabout way to Karlstejn Castle

None too eager to shell out 950CZK ($47) for a half-day excursion to visit Karlstejn Castle, I decided to simply do it on my own. That way, I didn't have to be rushed nor comform to a group's schedule. After all, Karlstejn Castle was only a 45-minute ride from Praha's main train station, Hlavni Nadrazi, costing 61CZK ($3) round-trip, and coupled with the hour-long guided tour of the castle's interiors priced at 220CZK ($11), you really had to be sucker (or timid tourist) to take a guided bus excursion from Praha. I waited at the platform for the train to arrive, somewhat puzzled at the lack of other tourists going to Karlstejn, as I had heard that it could get quite mobbed during summer. Finally the train came, and I hopped onboard along with two other people after seemingly all the train's passengers disembarked.

After a few minutes, the train stopped at the next station (Smichov), and everyone in my car filed to get out. Now I got that sinking feeling in my stomach and was thinking, "Uh oh, something's not right". As if in answer to my suspicions, the stern-faced conductor burst through the doors, and spotting me still seated, practically bellowed at me to get out (I deduced this from his tone and body language). My futile attempts (where's that damned phrasebook when you needed it?) to ask if the train continued to Karlstejn were met with a firm shake of the head and repeated declarations of "Informace! (Information)", accompanied by an outstretched arm pointing upstairs. I hurried up the stairs, and unable to find any semblance of an information booth, stopped to ponder my plan of action. Should I just give up the idea of visiting Karlstejn and explore more of Praha instead? No! That would be a cop-out, and I'd hate to miss out just because of some stupid train mix-up. Eventually, I realized that Smichov was also a metro stop, thus I could retrace my way back to Hlavi Nadrazi and figure out the correct train to Karlstejn Castle. Voila!

So, back at Hlavi Nadravi, looking more intently this time at the Departures board, I recalled that the Lonely Planet (which I left at the hostel) instructed to take the trains going to Beroun and stopping on the way at Karlstejn. Bad news was I had almost an hour to kill at the dismal station till the next one came, so I used the washroom (5CZK!!!), bought an English newspaper and ice cream, settled on a chair and tried hard to ignore the smelly homeless-looking guy seated on my right whose attempt to strike up a conversation I rebuffed with a shrug and "Nemluvim cesky (I don't speak Czech)". What else could I have said anyway? :-D

Anyway, this time I got the train right and sat amidst a group of ten lively university students (the girls were cute and I marveled at how they could pull off the disheveled hair look) from Madrid. The castle is about a ten minute walk from the station, with the last part a really steep hike. Although the interiors were fairly so-so, the views from the castle of the surrounding countryside were spectacular. I spent a bit of time in town souvenir-shopping (didn't buy anything) and a late lunch of mixed grilled sausages (enough with the traditional Czech food). It took a circuitous route and a little longer than expected to get there, but the afternoon was well worth the adventure.

Praha in a Day

My first metro ride in Praha was a success. The Hostel City Center is about a five minute walk from Karlovo Namesti station, and since I got in at around 730am, the front desk staff told me to leave my bags, come back at check-in time (2pm), and sent me off with a free city map. So, tired, hungry, and jetlagged, what did I decide to do? Well, obviously have some breakfast first. And then, take a six-hour deluxe tour of Praha, what else??? No time to waste, I take my sightseeing quite seriously. Mind you, it's not really six hours of walking, but rather about four(!!) hours. The latter part included a typical Czech lunch at a local non-touristy pub, followed by an hour-long small boat ride on the Vltava river.

As I approached the Stare Mesto (Old Town), magnificent Prague Castle and St. Vitus Cathedral came into view, with the famous Charles Bridge in the foreground. Not really sure where the Old Town Square is, I simply did the only logical thing: follow the crowds up and down the winding cobblestoned streets of the Old Town until I was standing in front of the Astronomical clock. The tour was led by Marketa, a tourism student who had just passed THE EXAM and was leading her first-ever group! How 'bout that? A daunting baptism of fire with me, a notoriously cranky tourist (jet-lagged or not) and two British women??? But we did get along well actually (see pic) and bantered a bit. Her English was decent, though she admitted the need for improvement, and her knowledge of facts about each magnificent building unsurpassed, if somewhat bookish.

The walking tour itself passed by all the highlights of Praha, from the Jewish cemeteries to Franz Kafka's house to Mala Strana (Lesser Quarter). Along the way, we passed by numerous historic churches, stately mansions and lavishly decorated government buildings of various architectural styles, and Marketa would rattle off facts about them, that it all became a dizzying mess in my mind. Confident that I would return to Mala Strana later during the trip, I put off taking pictures and regrettably, didn't manage to have the time to explore the area later. Too bad. We managed to reach Prague castle's main entrance in time for the daily Changing of the Guards ceremony at noon, and later queued up along with tons of other tourists to get inside St. Vitus Cathedral. The heat was taking a toll on me, and I looked forward to having lunch and pivo (Czech for beer, the one essential word any idiot tourist knows). We crossed the Charles Bridge back into Stare Mesto, stopping from time to time to admire the different statues and take pictures. It is quite a challenge to cross the perenially busy bridge, as progress is usually impeded by other tourists doing idiotic things like walking too slow, blocking the path while stopping to listen to the jazz musicians (and getting pickpocketed in the process), and my favorite pet peeve - wandering in front of a statue oblivious to the numerous photogs on the verge of clicking on their cameras. (I usually glare at them - men, women, and children alike - as a sort of non-verbal "Getouttahere!" imperative, and the wiser ones scurry away. Haha).

Eventually we emerged on the other side and thus my first encounter with Czech cuisine commenced. We entered the pub which wasn't too far from our starting point four hours earlier, and were ushered into the homey basement dining room. According to Marketa, the agency allowed each guest one beer and one entree (included in the price) - scanning the unappetizing list, I tried my luck with the "roast pork leg, Bohemian dumplings, stewed cabbage" and crossed my fingers. (Notice the reasonable prices - 95CZK - for most of the entrees, the same dish at a touristy resto near the Old Town Square can cost almost double). Gulping down the Pilsner Urquell was a welcome relief from the heat, and as I found out, the best part of the meal.

The pork loin itself was so-so, but the bread dumplings (why they are called dumplings remains a mystery) lacked any trace of flavor and were quite heavy. Despite my profound hunger, I managed to force myself to eat only two loaves and left the other two untouched. Unfortunately, being a staple of Czech cuisine, the Bohemian dumplings make an appearance at every meal and accompany every dish. Two pivos later (I shelled out 32CZK or $1.60 for the extra one), we proceed to take the boat ride on the Vltava. Not that I could tell you much about it, as I was overcome with fatigue and half-slept my way throughout the ride and missed most of the commentary. All I remember is the girl doing the talking was attractive. Found my way back to the hostel, checked in, and promptly drifted into unconsciousness.

"Mluvite anglicky?"

The flight arrived at Ruzyne airport at around 530am, even earlier than the advertised 620am. Minutes before, I had eagerly taken my pen out in anticipation of the handing out of the landing cards and customs declaration forms. However, mystifyingly enough, none came. The flight attendants merrily went about handing out drinks, but no paperwork. The immigration dude just looked at my passport and stamped it forcefully without asking any questions. Weird. First country this has happened to me. Must be an experimental anti-terrorist screening system based on no screening at all.

Instead of spending 650CZK (Czech korunas, or crowns; US$1=20CZK) on a taxicab to the center of Praha, I decided to take the public Bus #119 and then the free transfer to the metro at Dejvicka. Total cost: $1 (20CZk). I obviously wasn't the only cheapskate tourist, as there were 20 or so of us lined up at the stop, almost all clutching 500CZK and 1000CZK bills dispensed by the ATMs inside the terminal. As my turn came in boarding the bus, I sheepishly handed my 500CZK bill to the driver and greeted him a bright and happy "Dobry den". I couldn't quite understand what the phrases he grunted meant, but genius that I am, I inferred that he said "Gee, thanks for not having exact change, you dumb tourist. Go take a seat, ride's on me", so I took a seat beside the other sheepish-looking tourists, and we all got off at Dejvicka after a 20-minute ride along the colorless suburbs of Praha.

I practically ran down the steps of Dejvicka metro station to be the first to buy my metro ticket. Praha's metro wowed me no end, from the modern design of the platforms, brightly-lit signs, cleanliness, and fast-moving steep escalators. It operated on an honor system - you buy the ticket (20CZK or 14CZK, depending on the type of trip), validate the bottom portion at the machine, and get on the train. No turnstiles, no gates, only random inspectors who politely ask to see your ticket. So I could've just waited for line A to arrive without paying and if caught claim newbie tourist ignorance, but somehow I felt guilty so I approached the ticket window. After greeting the elderly clerk the usual, "Dobry den", I tentatively asked, "Mluvite anglicky?" (Do you speak English?), hoping to myself "Please, please...say yes". Alas, she shook her head emphatically. Uh oh. I had already used my two stock Czech phrases (Oh wait, I also learned "Kde te toalety?" or "Where's the toilet?" but that was somewhat irrelevant at this stage of the journey).

Holding aloft my 500CZK bill, I mustered "Jedno" (one) while simultaneously pointing to a replica of the metro ticket pasted on the window. I might've used the wrong form of "one" which is dependent on the gender of the noun ticket, and could be either "jedno", "jedna" or "jeden". Ah, the subtleties of a foreign language I don't speak...such fun!!! The clerk made the thumbs-up sign and said something I didn't quite catch. For a few seconds I just stood there, unsure if I was required to respond, and then I realized she had made the Czech sign for "one". (Many thanks to the Lonely Planet phrasebook!). Yes, by using her thumb, whereas we would normally raise our index finger. To indicate "two", they raise both index and thumb fingers, thus forming a gun, similar to how kids pretend to shoot each other while playing. So after that little cultural exchange (we're off to a great start already!), she handed back 480CZ in change and I was on my way to the hostel. "Change at Mustek, get off at Karlovo Namesti", I kept muttering like a madman.

Aha, Praha!

Everyone who comes to Prague falls in love with it. Trust me - ask all your friends and relatives who've been, and they will bend your ears about the magnificent architecture, efficient clean metro system, reasonable prices for goods, and delicious pilsners (but of course!). And oh yes, how many damned tourists there are. Not for nothing was Prague the sixth-most visited European city last year, with over 3.5Million foreign guests pouring in. (This effectively rebuts my roommate's claim that I would be by my lonesome on the Czech Airlines flight).

The number of fellow sightseers only detracts slightly from the experience, and only if you let it. Although this year's visitor numbers are down sharply, you wouldn't know it from the masses gathered in front of the ever popular and impressive Astronomical Clock (pictured) in the old town square. The crowds start to stake out their posts and ready their videocams about fifteen minutes before the hour in anticipation of the "show". Essentially, Death (lower right-hand side) rings a bell continuously and inverts his hourglass, while the twelve Apostles slowly parade past the windows above the clock. At the end, a cock crows loudly, the windows shut, and that's about it. Personally, I found it somewhat underwhelming, and I've saved you the airfare to Prague - judge for yourself by clicking on the grainy thirty-second video.